MY FRIEND CALLED me a few days ago, and we were chatting about what we had been up to. I shared silly anecdotes and told her about recent conversations I’d had with my son, going over our plans for the holidays and what we had been up to. My friend stopped me mid-sentence, giggling. “Seriously, Cassie,” she asked, “What would you do if you didn’t have him? You would be so incredibly bored.”

She’s completely right. I’m 23 years old. I didn’t expect I’d be a mother by this point — but I can’t image things any other way. And I’m very, very happy.

I WAS 17 YEARS old and had just graduated high school. Summer was well under way, with bonfires planned, parties every night, and sleepovers with good friends. This was the time we had to celebrate our newfound freedom. To make mistakes, explore the world, finalize goodbyes before heading off on our life adventures.

One night during all of that, I was sitting with a good friend reminiscing about all of the crazy things we used to do. It occurred to me, almost as an afterthought, that I was late. I wasn’t panicked nor stressed as we headed out the door to Walmart in search of a pregnancy test. Neither of us expected it to be positive. We simply thought we should probably check it out.

An hour later I was standing in her bathroom staring at two pink lines.

Well, shit.

There is no graceful way to approach motherhood at seventeen. There is no easy way to share the news with wide-eyed friends and worried adults. I approached motherhood like I might any challenge. There wasn’t time to figure out the benefits and disadvantages strung out before me — a baby was on its way and I needed to prepare. This was something that I had to handle and the only way I knew how to approach it was with action. So, I bought the crib and I folded the onesies. I went to the doctor and balanced bills and went to school. I made plans and worked out details.

Looking back at this time now is sincerely shocking. I am not a tactical person. I run solely on emotion. When something is good it is the best thing that could ever happen. When something is bad it is so devastating I will never survive. Logical thinking? Not so much. Looking back at the way I responded to the news of motherhood seems so silly. I didn’t for one second consider how great this was going to be. Actually, I didn’t consider that it could be great at all. News of motherhood when you are 17 isn’t celebrated with congratulations and stories of joyous parenting moments. It is celebrated with concern and reminders of all of the challenges you are about to face.

I was sitting in a waiting room with a good friend while she picked up her birth control. I was a few months pregnant and left staring at a poster of a teenage girl with a large pregnant belly. The poster read, “It is like being grounded for the rest of your life.” I get it, I was in a place that gave out birth control–this poster is somewhat expected. However, if that is the way in which we approach motherhood at a young age, is it any wonder that young mothers most often fail to succeed?

It’s hard to be a mother — and it’s harder to do it at seventeen. Millenials grew up in a world of divorces, mixed families, adoption, gay parents, straight parents, single parents, and a whole mix of other post-modern living conditions. But as a society, we are very careful not to encourage motherhood at a young age. It is a problem, an epidemic, a statistic that needs to be brought down.

But over the past several years, I’ve found that being a young parent isn’t all that bad.

I was able to spend more time at home with my child because I was in college when I had him and not working a 9-5 job. I was able to stay home when he was sick without a cut in pay or getting behind in work. I was able to take online courses during maternity leave and balance my role as mother and student. I found and created opportunities that provided me with the balance I needed and experiences I craved.

No, it’s not for everyone — but motherhood left me with a new view on life. It sent me in directions that I may not ever had explored if I weren’t a mother. It taught me lessons that are un-teachable. It encouraged my ambition and taught me how to tackle tough choices. I would not be the person I am today if I weren’t a mother.

And that’s what it boils down to, after all of the stress and worries and questions about how you are going to do it all. Once you enter motherhood, it’s impossible to imagine your life going any differently — and I really like the person that I am today.